morbid thought of the moment: wonder if i would feel the same way if baby left. he's leaving for australia soon to work but i don't know when or how long will he stay there. i bet he's gonna be there for at least 5 yrs or so or maybe forever. i am trying to think positive. prax said i am always assuming crappy things. but we are suppose to think about it sometimes don't we?

this time all i want is you
there is no one else
who can take your place
this time you burn me with your eyes
you see past all the lies
you take it all away
i've seen it all
it was never enough
it keeps leaving me needing you

my mind is full of question marks. why is this happening to me when i need him the most? why at this point of time when i really need his support? why at the point when i wanna start studying to succeed? i don't know how will it be when he's there. i don't know whether he will change his mind and stop loving. i'm feeling somewhat lulled into a sense of complication and depression. all i can do is just to wait for his new.

i am still leaving the door open, i don't want to have a reason to close it.